Tales of Team 7
by Penguin490
Summary: 'Cause a shinobi life is not only on the battlefield. -Random drabbles of Team 7, Konoha 12, and the proud village itself.
1. Tales about Phone Hacking

**Alternative Universe story. This story may contain a few inappropriate contents. I hope you enjoy it. Please don't forget to review ! :D :D Thanks for reading ! **

**Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto.**

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_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke_

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura _

_Sakura _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke_

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura _

_Sakura _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke_

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura _

_SAKURA_

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke_

_What ?! _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura _

_I like you and I know you like me for a fact. Let's go out with me. _

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke _

_The hell ? _

_Sender : Uchiha sasuke_

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura_

_I'm an idiot who have a stick shoved on my ass, I love tomato with all le soul and heart and I'm willing to marry them. But I'd rather choose you tham tomato because you're hot._

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Okay. Seriously. Have you been bailing out on your medication ? _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke_

_Reveiver : Haruno Sakura _

_Your pink hair is as enchanting as tomato on sale_

_Your eyes are as bright as fresh picked tomato_

_I want to kiss you. _

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Are you drunk ? _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke_

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura _

_HInata is cute. Tenten is pretty. Ino is hot (HAWT) and Tsunade is old but she got big boobs. But Haruno Sakura is very beautiful, intellegent and hotter than Ino and Tsunade combined. _

_Sender : Haruno Sakura _

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke_

_Ino will surely beat you up for that. Shisou will kick your ass to the top of Liberty. _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura _

_As long as I can be with youuuuuyayalzslwndm_

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke_

_You ARE drunk._

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura_

_Sakura. That's not me. _

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura_

_Another phone hacking war ? _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura_

_Yeah. That's the dobe for your information._

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke _

_I've known exactly 3 minutes before I received that. Kiba and Neji had just past by me carrying an unconscious Naruto with a black eye. I supposed that's your fist painting. _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura_

_Forget the earlier text. I'm not as grotesque as dobe_

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke _

_I'm not stupid you know. There's no way Sasuke Uchiha would be saying Tsunade had big boobs no matter how many hormonal boys said that. _

_Sender : Haruno Sakura_

_Receiver : Uchiha Sasuke _

_And declaring openly that you want to go out with me and kiss me. _

_Sender : Uchiha Sasuke _

_Receiver : Haruno Sakura _

_You think so ? _

_Friday night. 7 pm. I'll pick you up._

_You're saying, Sakura ? _

_Sender : Yamanaka Ino_

_Receiver : Tenten _

_Sakura passed out. She's at the nurse office._

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**Review ? :D Thanks **_  
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	2. Tales about Love Potions

**I'm so terribly sorry for any grammar mistakes which I'm sure you'll found a lot on my story. This one's gonna be a little inappropriate. And I'm informing you from now that the genre of my story is not only friendship and humor, but may also expand to other kinds of genre as well. I'm a SasuSaku fan, but I can do stories on other pairings also. Feel free to request ! :D Thank you**

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Sakura couldn't stop laughing on the scene before her.

In her red velvet couch that is especially pricey, sat her two bestfriend. Well, more like cuddling actually.

Naruto is circling his hands on Sasuke's neck and affectionately brushing his right hand through Sasuke's black hair who is on top of him, while Sasuke is-dare to say- seductively drawing circles on Naruto's chest. All the while the two are smirking, giggling, and smiling flirtingly to each other. They don't even break eye contact for the past one hour !

It was ultimately rare for a scene like this to happen, not that she wanted them to cuddle like this everyday. No matter how loud she is laughing or how the snap of her camera echoed through her room, the two seems to be on their own world. Actually not seems, but they are deaf to any other sound except their partner sound.

And what is the reason of this situation ? And how did the two got sexually attracted to each other ?

The two was barging in to her office an hour before, and they happened to walk on Sakura's experiment of love potion. She had been trying to create a substance that could effectively release the brain cell that makes human fall in love, in an instant, like in 5 second after drinking it.

Naruto, the ever so idiot, spotted a batch of the potion looking attractively sitting on top of her desk. And of course,

"Oh man ! I'm thirsty ! You're so caring Sakura chan !"

"No Naruto don't dri-"

He drank it. Gulped down to the last drop. The potion took full 5 seconds before reacting fully. And that 5 second, is the 5 second before Sasuke had his lips kissed for the second time by the same person.

The chemicals left in Naruto's mouth got mixed with Sasuke's saliva, and of course, the bastard fell for it too.

The wide eyed Sakura, doubled over laughing due to Sasuke kissing back Naruto harshly.

'I suppose that's because he's been surpressing his hormones too long. Poor Sasuke, first kiss in years and it's with Naruto of all people.'

Sasuke pushed Naruto to the couch, and continued kissing him and cuddling him. Now up to this point you might feel kinda gross, but that's partly because Naruto had drink too much and Sasuke surpressing his hormones too vigorously. But don't worry, they are not going to marry and have children together named Naruto Uchiha.

Sakura who had been laughing whilst recording the moment, got wide eyed when Sasuke huskily and sexily said,

"Shirts up, no more playing" and he smirked.

She put down the video recorder recorder rushingly, and proceed to take a bucket of ice water. I mean, who wanted to get their two boy best friends fucked each other on a state of intoxcicatied ?

When Sakura get back, she breathe a sigh of relief that they are only shirtless, not pantless. How disturbing in would be if the two had already take off their pants, more over, in her office ! Sakura surpresed a shrudder and dump the ice cold water to the two unceremoniously.

Instantly, an expression of shock is painted on their face. That's before an expression of utter horror passed through both boys upon seeing that they're naked and on top of each other.

"GAH !" Sasuke rolled, only to fall down to the floor.

"GROSS !" Naruto is scrambling to sit, and to proccess what had just happened betwwen them.

Sakura snickered, looking forward for the revelation time.

"Sakura chan ! What happened ?!" he gasped "Tell me I'm still virgin. Oh my God ! Teme took my virginty !"

"Tch dobe. What the hell am I doing in your office, shirtless and on top of Naruto ?!"

"Well... You two sorta almost fuck each other.. ("WHAT ?!" " NO WAY !") and I think the most important part is that you two, utterly disgust me by making out in my office. You are like this because you, specifically Naruto, drink this. " she held up an empty bottle with traces of liquid in it.

"what is that Sakura chan ?"

"love potion Naruto, love potion "

Sasuke is gaping, Naruto is is gagging, and Sakura is laughing.

"Whoa whoa. So we, drink that and kiss and cuddle and almost fuck each other ?"

"Yes Sasuke. Wanna look at the video ?"

Sasuke and Naruto scoot closer to Sakura to see their own makeshift porn.

"why the hell am I kissing back ?"

"Ewww I kissed Teme !"

"Do you have to shove me like that to the couch ?"

"How the hell I'm not on the top ?"

"Is that really me seducing that idiot ?"

"Why am I giggling ?!"

"I'm smiling flirtingly ? At Naruto ?"

_"Take off your clothes. No more playing " *smirk* _

"GAH!"

Sakura's eardrums almosy bleed by the loudness of both men's voice.

"GROSS !"

"WHAT THE HELL ?!"

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